tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965443.post-51321936262918749422007-09-20T16:55:00.000-04:002007-09-20T16:56:15.033-04:00<strong>Bush Optimistic on Economy</strong><br /><br />Washington - pResident Bush today delivered an upeat forecast on the economy, assuring Americans that overall things were going great and the future looked bright. In a reasoned, objective assessment based on deep economic knowledge, the pResident assured Americans that they were in fact doing fine. Said the pResident, "I talked to everyone I know and no one is facing foreclosure, job loss or lack of health insurance. We're all very happy and secure." <br /><br /> The American public reacted with relief. Welder John Griffin of South Carolina, one of over a million families being thrown on the street this year reacted, "Thank God things are going good, I was getting worried about this mortgage thingie." <br /><br />Shane Blodgett, who makes $9 dollars an hour part time at a mop factory, expressed relief, "I was worried about things, but the pResident assured us unemployment is pretty low. That made me feel secure." <br /><br />Mary Johnson, a diabetic mother of four without health insurance, was also releived, "I sometimes worry about the future, but I saw the pResident on FOX and I know I don't need to worry or ever listen to some commie democrat who wants to destroy the best health care system on earth." <br /><br />Trevor Lind, who makes $20,000 dollars a year and lives in a 30 year old trailer with a $100,000 mortgage says, "I know I can trust the pResident, he understands people like us, unlike those elite rich liberals. I'm going to retire next year and now I can forget about the economy and worry about the real danger I face in my life, like Mexican murderers, Iranian Mullahs and gay dudes getting married." <br /><br />Economists themselves expressed surprise and relief. Said one New York stockbroker, "Whenever Bush speaks on the economy you never know what he's going to say. We were pleasantly surprised this time to hear him say things are going fine and we should stay the course. I think the lesson for all the people you quoted above is that things are going great and now is a really good time for them to invest more money in the stockmarket." <br /><br />Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the Hoolinet (www.hoolinet.com) <br />Copyright 2007 Boniface Bugle Productions. All Rights Absurd.gefiltehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03181359347156344502noreply@blogger.com