Culture Center Causes Controversy

Honolulu - Plans for the construction of an Asian cultural center several blocks from Pearl Harbor have ignited great controversy. Liberals have been claiming Asian-Americans have the same rights as everyone else while conservatives have claimed that anything Asian near the site of the famous attack of December 7th 1941 is an insult to Americans who died there.

Rush Limbaugh complained, "Imagine our veterans walking down the streets of Honolulu and seeing Asian signs and Asian faces. We have to protect our veterans from this outrage." Sarah Palin twittered on the subject,"It's too soon Asians, this isn't racism, but whenever we see any of you we're reminded of that horrible day when you people sneakily attacked us. Please understand this is sacred ground for Americans."

Tea Party spokesman Ray Cisste commented, "Just because Asians have the right to do something doesn't mean we should let them. They're taking this 'right' thing too far. Dear god, first it was the blacks, then the women, now the Asians want rights. I supposed it won't stop until we're all equal. Can't we just say rights are good for some of us and put the Asians in a bunch of camps. What, Roosevelt tried that? I thought he was a democrat. Way to go FDR!"

President Obama chimed in, "American values are justice and equality for all. That means everyone, even minorities. WE don't want to imitate our enemies, we want to be better than them. We have to show the world we truly are the beacon of freedom and equality we claim to be. This is what makes America great, we don't want to be a nation of irrational prejudice and idiotic racism and discrimination."

Republican spokesman Jim Crow commented, "Those remarks just show how out of touch with the American people President Obama is."