Republicans Admit Mistakes

Washington - In a stunning reversal of seven years of party policy, major Republicans completely reversed their position on the Presidency. Republican spokemsan Hypp O. Kritt explained the reversal, "We kept saying the country needed to rally behind the President in times of crisis. We were so wrong and we apologize. There is no need for any such thing. We denounced party politics and obstruction, we take that all back. What we meant to say was it is the duty of patriotic Americans to keep the president from getting anything done, at least for the next four years."



Rush Limbaugh also chimed in, "When I said for the thousandth time that we must support our President fully in time of war, I totally had my fingers crossed. In time of war all Americans should spend their days criticizing the **** out of the President. Nothing is too nasty, including little songs with racial epithets in them."



Ann Coulter agreed with Mr. Limbaugh, "All those books and columns I wrote saying that anyone who criticizes the US President is the same as a terrorist, I didn't mean it. Dissent is Patriotic!"



Dick Cheney also issued a 'clarfication' of his views, "When I said the Vice President was above the law and answerable to no one, you all knew I was just kidding, right? When we demanded an Imperial Presidency with unlimited powers I assumed everyone was in on the joke. Geez, get a sense of humor you guys, you know what kidder I am. "



Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the Hoolinet (www.hoolinet.com)

Copyright 2009 Boniface Bugle Productions. All Rights Absurd.