Bush Warns of Violence in Mideast

Washington - Without a trace of irony, pResident Bush today warned Turkey of the dangers of war in Iraq. Without so much as a smirk, Bush scolded the Turks, "Don't go rushing into war in Iraq without pondering the consequences. The Middle East can be a dangerous place to intervene and you have to be careful of what you're getting into. I urge caution and diplomacy here, not unilateral military action which could have broad consequences for your country and the entire region."

Vice pResident Dick Cheney then chimed in, displaying as keen a grasp of irony as Alanis Morrisette, "A military strike might sound good, but the real world isn't a Tom Clancy novel. Sure force sounds tough, decisive, but have you thought about the long term repercussions? What happens on day 2, day 3, day 40, three years from now? You have to think through all the possible outcomes, you have to have a plan for these contingencies. What's your exit strategy? You can't just go charging in like some cowboy, this is the Middle East for God's sake."

After the press conference, the pResident and Vice pResident then walked out of camera range before exploding into uncontrolled laughter. They then went to a planning meeting for the bombing of Iran.

Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the Hoolinet (www.hoolinet.com)
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