Bush and Cheney to be Deployed to Iraq

Washington - The Pentagon announced today that due to the shortage of troops caused by the surge, pResident Bush and Vice pResident Dick Cheney would be deployed as soldiers to Iraq.

The rationale for the shocking move was apparently twofold. As more soldiers were needed, old records were combed and it was discovered that the pResident never showed up for all assigned duties during his time in the National Guard, a failure that would be unnacceptable today. Thus he still owes his country service. As for the Vice pResident, his draft board decided that his use of five deferments because he "had other priorities" was just silly.

pResident Bush was rather upbeat as he prepared to depart, "Vietnam was a different time, using my Daddy's influence to get a cushy position and then not showing up because I was high on cocaine was OK then, but unnacceptable now. I'm asking for great sacrifices from our all-volunteer military, keeping them longer and deploying them more. I call on all of the 28% of us who still think this war is a good idea to join me. Supporting the troops isn't about putting a sticker on your SUV or whining on the internet. I just couldn't be one of those worthless hypocrites anymore."

Vice pResident Dick Cheney was also upbeat, "I'm not worried one bit. For four years we've been telling everyone that we're making great progress and the media doesn't report all the good news. If one-tenth of that B.S. is true, this should just be a great vacation in a lovely wonderland called Iraq."

When asked about the leadership of the country during the absence of the top two officials, White House spokesman Tony Snow commented, "We already hired a puppeteer and two sock puppets to say 'stay the course' and 'the media doesn't report all the good news' over and over. We don't think anyone will notice the difference."

Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the Hoolinet (www.hoolinet.com)
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