FAUX News Report - 1876

Fort Potemkin, Dakota Territory - A Congressional delegation led by outspoken senator Gawn Insain visited the marketplace in this fort today to report that great progress is being made despite reports of ongoing violence.

Speaking to reporters, Senator Insain insisted there is a lot of good news here, "I supported General Custer's surge of troops into the Little Big Horn and we can see the progress made already. The media have only been reporting the bad news, but we can see how great things are going here. This marketplace is just like a market in Indiana."

When reporters pointed out that the market was in fact inside a fort defended by several hundred soldiers Senator Insain got angry, "There you go again with your totally biased questions. Why do you all hate America?"

When asked whether it was justified in the first place to send soldiers to slaughter the Indians and take their land Senator Insain responded, "I support the troops, why don't you?"

When a reporter mentioned that in fact General Custer and all his men were slaughtered at the Little Big Horn Senator Insain responded, "That's just the media's liberal bias. You have to support the troops, I support the troops. I believe we're making great progress, and the Little Big Horn will be remembered as Custer's Great Progress. Remember I said that when I run for President."

Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the Hoolinet (www.hoolinet.com)
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