Operation Rolling Blunder
Washington - The Bush administration responded today to comparisons between the war in Iraq and the Vietnam war. Whitewash spokesman Cott Mistellin spoke to reporters, "There is no comparison, we're only staying until the government we're creating is secure from attacks by the population. That's called democracy, and definitely not nation building by the way. It's really about the global fight against an ideology which threatens us, since some people in that country have that ideology it's all definitely related, nothing to do with the actual situation in the country or any political agendas back home. Besides, we have to stay to protect our troops, whom we sent there. So we need to keep sending more troops to protect the troops we sent there, who are there so we can protect them. It's not a quagmire, just one of those things where you get stuck and keep getting more stuck as you try to work your way out."


National Insecurity Advisor Cottmeelyin Twyce added, "This is so different from Vietnam, Nixon had a 'secret plan' and we have a series of actionable items which will fix everything. That last memo entitled 'G-d we are so totally screwed over there!' was just historical information based on an old report. Besides, Johnson was just swatting flies with the Gulf of Tonkin resolution, we've known Saddam was bad since he attacked an American frigate in the Gulf in '87, right after Rumsfeld went and met with him. Now the Lusitania, there's a precedent for this operation. If Bush was in office then fighting German subs would have been his top priority immediately after that ship was sunk."


Army spokesman general Wes T. Morrlennd commented from his base at Dyn-bin-Few in Iraq, "We find this behavoir of the Iraqis lately a Tad Offensive, and we're not going to take it. We're definitely winning, and these attacks all over the country only prove how right we are. All I need is a lot more troops, just to really win, cause things are going fine, just fine here, don't believe the media."

pResident Bush himself chimed in, "There's definitely no comparision, I mean Vietnam has jungles and Iraq is all desert and sand, no trees or water, so that's a total difference. I should know, I served during the Vietnam war, clearing the skies over Alabama of Vietnamese bombers on one or two days."


Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the HoolinetCopyright 2004 Boniface Bugle Production. All Rights Absurd.