Saturday, March 20, 2004

The Return of the Wild KnishesBrussels - European enviromental groups have been surprised recently by reports of a resurgence of wild knish sightings in Eastern Europe. The knish, once a wide ranging animal in Eastern Europe, was largely domesticated by the sixteenth century. Wild knishes are reportedly dangerous, especially when cornered. The domesticated knish, however, is a docile creature, good with children and sour cream. The last reported wild knish hunt was the great knish massacre of 1914, during a hunting party of the Archduke Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary and Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany at Konopiste in Bohemia. The Knish has not been seen wild in Eastern Europe since WWII, like the once numerous wild gefilte fish (see The Legend of the Mighty Gefilte). Recent fears of "Mad Knish" disease have further hurt this once thriving industry. Most knishes nowadays are raised in the US, although food critics claim the American breeds lack the flavor, vitality and personality of their East European Counterparts.
In related news, attempts are being made to reintroduce herds of wild matzoh to the plains of Israel. Once numerous in the Middle East, wild Matzoh has not been seen in the region for nearly 2,000 years. The recent popularity of "Mount Zion Oysters" (matozh balls) has led to increasing demand for this now domesticated animal.

Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the Hoolinet.
Copryight 2004 Boniface Bugle Productions. All Rights Absurd.

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