Bush to Send Troops to Arizona

Washington - In response to mounting chaos over the gasoline crisis in Phoenix, the Bush Administration announced operation "Exxon Freedom", the deployment of troops from Fort Hood Texas to the troubled state.
In response to criticism of the plan, the White House announced, "This is not about oil, it's about democracy, order and the rule of law. A swift hand is needed to restore a proper business climate and recall any democratic politicians in the state. Who knows who caused the sabotage to the main pipeline. Bin Laden and Hussein could be hiding out in that desert. Maybe the American people have forgotten about 9-11 and maybe patriotism isn't cool anymore, but not for this pResident. This is not about oil, that oil belongs to the people of Arizona."
It is reported that the Bush administration plans to install an interim government headed by Arizona exile Hal I. Burton to rule the state for the foreseeable future. On a side note, congressional support for the operation was provided by Tom Delay, who inserted an amendment to the bill calling for operation "Abuse of Power" which entails federal troops capturing or killing Texas Democrats in New Mexico during this operation.
Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the Hoolinet
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