ANN COULTER, ANN COULTER, ANN COULTER

Oh my, there's ads for Ann Coulter up there. I assure you I had nothing to do with that. Blogger must have scanned my blog and found her name several times in the Ann Coulter parody below. I guess the more times I write Ann Coulter on this site the more likely the computer is to put ads for Ann Coulter up. So here goes:
Ann Coulter is actually a drag queen from Key West who goes by the name of Pudenda Shenanigans. Before changing her name to Ann Coulter, Miss Shenanigans was quite a hit on the club circuit, known for her rousing performances of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" "I Will Survive" and "You Shook Me All Night Long". Originally Miss Shenanigans was Hermanito Castrato, the son of Cuban Exiles. Ann Coulter's bitterness about communism is explained by the fact that her family lost their land and the peasants who worked it in the revolution. Her hatred of feminism and gays stems from her own self loathing and 40 something childless singlehood as a gay man pretending to be a vapid, inane, homophobic neo-fascist. If she were a woman, it would be interesting to know how a childless, unmarried woman with a career can claim to hate "feminism" so much. How exactly would someone like that define "feminism"?
Ann Coulter's writings generally make about as much sense as those of a schizophrenic Hyena on acid, unable to hold a coherent thought. If one could pick out consistent strains in her writing it would amount to this worldview:
Bill Clinton and all democrats and anyone who voted for him (except a few "little old ladies" who were duped) are radical liberals and communists and basically the same thing as terrorists. All bad things that happend to the US in the last fifty years were caused by liberals in league with communists and in support of terrorists and criminals, who they love. There are no enviromental problems, no poverty (only lazy liberals who won't get a job) and civil liberties are just a code word used by liberals protect the terrorists they love (which includes all muslims).
Ann has stated the war on terrorism should include killing "five million muslims and converting the rest to Christianity". She claims McCarthy was right and was brought down by a communist conspiracy. Brains of a dry-roasted peanut, that's what I say. But if Ann Coulter ever wants to admit her true sexual identity, I hope someone will show her a little liberal tolerance.

Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the Hoolinet
Copyright 2003 Boniface Bugle Productions. All Rights Absurd.